why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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