I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
don't judge my taste in strippers
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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