these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
