belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
