"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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