capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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