If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
