I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
