dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
