And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
