It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
