Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
