It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
