So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
