you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
