Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize