Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
