Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dicks are not precious.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
