Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
