Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
