My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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