I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
