Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We left an ass print on the piano.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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