The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
