are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
