Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You ate ashes out of my bong
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
