Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
