Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
