how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
