Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
