he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
