Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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