He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
