God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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