Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize