At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
