butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
