at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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