Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
