Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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