It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
