I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
