What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
