if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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