Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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