Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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