I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
