I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
