I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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