Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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