i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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