I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
