Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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