The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
