that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
