Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
