And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
