My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
