why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
