Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize