No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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