Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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