Are we in a gay sports bar?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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