P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
