Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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