3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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