Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
